1 00:00:04,606 --> 00:00:09,805 Reading Rock Festival 1979 is deliriously thrilled to welcome 2 00:00:09,966 --> 00:00:13,003 the holy trinity of Edwin Droodl 3 00:00:18,806 --> 00:00:22,435 On electric fiddle, the legendary Roy Pilgriml 4 00:02:28,406 --> 00:02:32,035 - Are you sure you know where you're going? - L'll be fine. 5 00:03:10,006 --> 00:03:12,201 HE-E-E-ELP! 6 00:04:11,446 --> 00:04:15,564 You're listening to Classic FM. Coming up next, Vivaldi. 7 00:05:47,846 --> 00:05:50,838 Morning. Is there a problem? What's happened? 8 00:05:51,006 --> 00:05:54,601 Do you know Mr Pilgrim? We're getting no reply. 9 00:05:54,766 --> 00:05:58,805 L'm his fianc�e. He should be in. He's expecting me at nine. 10 00:05:58,966 --> 00:06:01,002 What's this all about? 11 00:06:02,366 --> 00:06:03,685 Roy? 12 00:06:06,406 --> 00:06:07,725 Roy? 13 00:06:07,886 --> 00:06:09,683 In here! 14 00:06:15,886 --> 00:06:18,400 What the hell's happened to you? 15 00:06:19,566 --> 00:06:24,720 Got a crack on the back of the head. Thought they'd gone. One caught me from behind. 16 00:06:24,886 --> 00:06:29,596 They rifled the safe and then cuffed me to this thing, 17 00:06:29,766 --> 00:06:32,155 so I couldn't raise the alarm. 18 00:06:32,326 --> 00:06:34,886 L think you'll need a hacksaw. 19 00:06:37,046 --> 00:06:39,958 Before we go into this, there is another matter 20 00:06:40,126 --> 00:06:41,479 concerning a... 21 00:06:45,566 --> 00:06:49,036 What kind of sick games have you been playing?! 22 00:06:49,526 --> 00:06:51,596 How many of you saw this girl? 23 00:06:51,766 --> 00:06:53,722 We all did, sir. 24 00:06:53,886 --> 00:06:57,117 Where is she? Her mother's worried out of her mind. 25 00:06:57,286 --> 00:06:58,639 Who? 26 00:06:58,806 --> 00:07:02,560 The pretty little thing you invited for tea and crumpets! 27 00:07:03,246 --> 00:07:08,400 Don't pull that innocent routine! Why do you think the police are here? 28 00:07:08,566 --> 00:07:10,682 Francine, I haven't a clue... 29 00:07:10,846 --> 00:07:15,761 Mr Pilgrim, can you tell us where you were at four o'clock yesterday afternoon? 30 00:07:17,326 --> 00:07:19,044 Is this a joke? 31 00:07:20,646 --> 00:07:23,683 L haven't moved from here in 20 hours! 32 00:07:23,846 --> 00:07:27,839 L'm not Harry Houdini! Is someone trying to be funny? 33 00:07:28,006 --> 00:07:31,237 Nothing funny about a missing person, Mr Pilgrim. 34 00:07:32,486 --> 00:07:36,001 We know she left home yesterday morning for this address. 35 00:07:36,166 --> 00:07:41,843 It appears she was seen by six eye-witnesses entering your house through this door 36 00:07:42,006 --> 00:07:45,043 at 4.00, as the school bus was arriving. 37 00:07:47,406 --> 00:07:51,399 - Someone's putting you on. - Mr Pilgrim, a straight answer, please! 38 00:07:51,566 --> 00:07:57,755 Did you let a 16-year-old girl named Tracy Cook into this house yesterday? 39 00:07:57,926 --> 00:08:02,044 L don't know what you're playing at, but let's lay it to rest now. 40 00:08:02,206 --> 00:08:07,234 L've been sat here staring at these four walls since midday yesterday 41 00:08:07,406 --> 00:08:09,317 till the moment you arrived. 42 00:08:09,486 --> 00:08:15,482 And, on my granny's grave, no one has come in through those French windows. 43 00:08:23,046 --> 00:08:28,439 OK, so, if your friend in the back could stick an old sock in it this time, 44 00:08:28,606 --> 00:08:33,157 perhaps we can get this one alone to give the illusion that we have a brain! 45 00:08:33,326 --> 00:08:35,123 OK... go. 46 00:08:35,286 --> 00:08:41,122 "At the post box, look fore and aft to see the sea. What year does it appear to be?" 47 00:08:41,286 --> 00:08:44,517 - Fore and aft... - It's in front of us and behind us. 48 00:08:44,686 --> 00:08:48,315 - To see the sea... - Tough one. 49 00:08:50,286 --> 00:08:54,996 To see the sea, what year does it appear to be? Fore and aft... 50 00:08:56,686 --> 00:08:59,325 There's the sea on this pub sign. 51 00:09:01,486 --> 00:09:04,364 What year does it appear to be? 52 00:09:04,526 --> 00:09:08,644 The building's Jacobean. What's that? Early 17th century? 53 00:09:09,406 --> 00:09:14,161 Too vague. Anyway, it's sideways on, so it doesn't work. 54 00:09:14,326 --> 00:09:16,999 Um... what seas are there, then? 55 00:09:17,166 --> 00:09:19,555 - Red Sea... - Black Sea... 56 00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:22,843 - Black Sea... Dead Sea... - Irish Sea... 57 00:09:23,006 --> 00:09:26,157 - What year does it appear... ... To be? 58 00:09:30,686 --> 00:09:32,756 All right, what's the answer? 59 00:09:32,926 --> 00:09:34,996 1983. 60 00:09:35,166 --> 00:09:36,519 Why?! 61 00:09:36,686 --> 00:09:40,235 You see that old Vauxhall back there? 62 00:09:42,086 --> 00:09:46,204 How do you look forwards and backwards at it at the same time? 63 00:09:55,886 --> 00:09:57,604 Oh-h! 64 00:09:57,766 --> 00:10:01,361 A reg - 1983. 65 00:10:01,526 --> 00:10:07,123 Well, how do they expect anybody in the whole wide world to get that?! 66 00:10:07,286 --> 00:10:11,120 Another miracle! And, see, it was all done with mirrors! 67 00:10:11,286 --> 00:10:18,203 Greg, if you're planning to open your legs any wider, let me know, I'll get out the car. 68 00:10:37,286 --> 00:10:38,639 Hello? 69 00:10:38,806 --> 00:10:42,481 Yes. We've just done clue 24, I'm afraid. 70 00:10:42,646 --> 00:10:45,240 Yes, I know, it's desperately boring. 71 00:10:45,406 --> 00:10:49,319 Thanks to Abracadabra here, we'll be finished by half past. 72 00:10:49,486 --> 00:10:52,125 OK, see you in the pub. Bye, babe. 73 00:10:52,286 --> 00:10:56,279 L've got a bum bandit on my tail. Pull back, you little...! 74 00:11:02,446 --> 00:11:05,836 STUPID, BIRD-HEADED BITCH! 75 00:11:20,366 --> 00:11:25,156 If she calls me Abracadabra once more, I may go berserk with that emery board, 76 00:11:25,326 --> 00:11:28,159 file down her face till it resembles an egg. 77 00:11:28,326 --> 00:11:31,636 It's just Sheena's way. L think she quite likes you. 78 00:11:31,806 --> 00:11:36,038 L can't tell you how much I've enjoyed sharing the back with Mr Biceps, 79 00:11:36,206 --> 00:11:38,595 who expands like a gas to fill any space. 80 00:11:38,766 --> 00:11:41,644 L felt his thigh pulse through my trousers! 81 00:11:41,806 --> 00:11:45,435 Will you make the effort? She is my best friend! 82 00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:53,523 So that's what you do? Sit at home all day and think up conjuring tricks? 83 00:11:55,446 --> 00:11:58,677 - How amazingly pointless! - Thank you. 84 00:11:58,846 --> 00:12:01,280 What's the deal between you and Maddy? 85 00:12:01,446 --> 00:12:04,882 L mean, is it like serious passion time here? 86 00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:09,198 How far into your world is she allowed to go? 87 00:12:09,366 --> 00:12:12,164 L mean, have you shown her your magic wand yet? 88 00:12:12,326 --> 00:12:13,645 Wedding? I 89 00:12:13,806 --> 00:12:17,799 You've got some nerve, Ron! This is not real! 90 00:12:18,246 --> 00:12:20,555 Hello, lover's tiff? 91 00:12:20,726 --> 00:12:22,478 Thanks, treasure. 92 00:12:22,646 --> 00:12:25,206 That's the cow that carved me up! 93 00:12:25,366 --> 00:12:28,005 Got other things on her mind, obviously. 94 00:12:28,166 --> 00:12:30,680 OK, you want me to believe you've changed? 95 00:12:32,046 --> 00:12:34,401 You'll never change, Roy! 96 00:12:34,566 --> 00:12:38,275 L'm condemned before I start?! L don't get a chance?! 97 00:12:38,446 --> 00:12:41,518 Six eye-witnesses watched her walk into your house! 98 00:12:41,686 --> 00:12:44,644 It's a conspiracy! They were bought off! 99 00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:46,922 Six schoolboys, Roy?! 100 00:12:47,086 --> 00:12:50,965 Francine, I never touched her! L never saw her! 101 00:12:51,126 --> 00:12:55,324 For God's sake, just leave! Don't contaminate my life! 102 00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:59,245 Oops-a-daisy. 103 00:13:03,686 --> 00:13:08,123 Go on, chuck it down the drain, show her what you think of her! 104 00:13:10,286 --> 00:13:12,880 He still loves her, you see? 105 00:13:13,046 --> 00:13:15,480 Probably just wants the money back. 106 00:13:17,566 --> 00:13:20,922 - Are you all blind?! - What's your problem? 107 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:24,235 Can't you see who that is? That guy? 108 00:13:25,126 --> 00:13:26,878 Who? 109 00:13:27,046 --> 00:13:29,765 Who?! That is Roy Pilgrim! 110 00:13:31,406 --> 00:13:35,365 You are KIDDING me! 111 00:13:35,526 --> 00:13:38,324 - No! - Who's Roy Pilgrim? 112 00:13:38,486 --> 00:13:40,044 Roy Pilgrim! 113 00:13:42,486 --> 00:13:44,283 Edwin Drood? 114 00:13:48,166 --> 00:13:50,839 You probably liked them, did you? 115 00:13:51,006 --> 00:13:55,238 They were in the vanguard of progressive rock through the 70s and 80s! 116 00:13:55,406 --> 00:13:59,365 - They made some seminal stuff! - That's a polite way of saying it. 117 00:13:59,526 --> 00:14:01,562 L suppose you liked Percy Sledge? 118 00:14:01,726 --> 00:14:04,286 - Ah, now you're talking! - Yes, Percy! 119 00:14:04,446 --> 00:14:07,677 - We loved Percy. - We loved Percy! 120 00:14:07,846 --> 00:14:13,955 We loved him, but not quite as much as we loved Otis! 121 00:14:33,766 --> 00:14:35,916 L know, I've just seen it. 122 00:14:38,166 --> 00:14:44,275 Kids'll tell you anything to be part of the story. L don't know what they saw. 123 00:14:44,446 --> 00:14:46,562 Appearances can be deceptive. 124 00:14:46,726 --> 00:14:52,676 Yes. Despite the appearance of something in your trousers, you haven't a leg to stand on. 125 00:14:52,846 --> 00:14:57,522 You haven't got a case. You've taken my house to pieces and scored zero. 126 00:14:57,686 --> 00:14:59,961 Mr Pilgrim, you... 127 00:15:00,606 --> 00:15:02,676 Are you any good with these? 128 00:15:04,526 --> 00:15:08,838 You say you never left the room from about midday onwards? 129 00:15:09,006 --> 00:15:11,395 Sure, plumbed into the heating system! 130 00:15:11,566 --> 00:15:14,763 You don't think you could have passed out again? 131 00:15:14,926 --> 00:15:16,484 Fallen asleep? 132 00:15:16,646 --> 00:15:17,965 Thanks. 133 00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:21,562 L didn't pass out. L was awake until it got dark. 134 00:15:21,726 --> 00:15:26,561 L knew I was stuck there till Francine arrived, so I used the time. 135 00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:30,401 L wrote three songs to get my mind off my bladderl 136 00:15:30,566 --> 00:15:32,238 And at 4.00? 137 00:15:32,406 --> 00:15:36,445 3.00-4.00, I listened to Classic FM, so that fixes the time. 138 00:15:36,606 --> 00:15:40,394 At 4.00, they went into Vivaldi, so I switched it off. 139 00:15:40,566 --> 00:15:44,684 L'm staring right at the window where she's supposed to have come in. 140 00:15:44,846 --> 00:15:49,078 Did you write to this girl inviting her to come and meet you on Monday? 141 00:15:49,246 --> 00:15:52,841 - Why would I do that? - She was young, attractive. 142 00:15:53,006 --> 00:15:54,724 She'd sent you photos. 143 00:15:54,886 --> 00:15:58,003 You're sick and what you are suggesting is sick. 144 00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,600 And what am I suggesting, Mr Pilgrim? 145 00:16:00,766 --> 00:16:05,203 That Tracy Cook found her hero wanted to give her more than an autograph? 146 00:16:05,366 --> 00:16:07,402 That it all got very nasty 147 00:16:07,566 --> 00:16:09,636 in ways I don't like to think about. 148 00:16:09,806 --> 00:16:15,005 Afterwards, to give yourself an alibi, you cooked up the burglars and radiators! 149 00:16:15,166 --> 00:16:18,078 Like I told your colleague before you arrived, 150 00:16:18,246 --> 00:16:22,444 the only thing that come in through those French windows was a frog. 151 00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:24,642 - If I... - What do you mean? 152 00:16:24,806 --> 00:16:29,243 Er... little green frog with a red belly. 153 00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:32,364 What do you mean, "Told our colleague"? 154 00:16:34,006 --> 00:16:35,485 I... 155 00:16:37,886 --> 00:16:40,639 ...never said I was the police. 156 00:16:40,806 --> 00:16:44,355 L just said I'd like help with my enquiries. 157 00:16:45,766 --> 00:16:47,996 You're not his legal advisor? 158 00:16:48,166 --> 00:16:50,043 Legal advisor? 159 00:17:38,526 --> 00:17:39,845 Hi? 160 00:17:40,006 --> 00:17:41,883 In here. L'm cooking. 161 00:17:45,766 --> 00:17:47,802 What's the matter with you? 162 00:17:47,966 --> 00:17:51,481 L was just reminded of that quote by Robert Oppenheimer, 163 00:17:51,646 --> 00:17:54,399 "I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds. " 164 00:17:54,566 --> 00:17:56,636 L overdid the croutons slightly. 165 00:17:56,806 --> 00:17:59,764 It's like Gandhi's funeral pyre in here! 166 00:17:59,926 --> 00:18:03,362 Yes. Now you've put the gas out, thank you 167 00:18:03,526 --> 00:18:05,881 L was getting on fine till you arrived! 168 00:18:10,166 --> 00:18:14,478 This lightness of touch you have in the kitchen is a joy to behold 169 00:18:14,646 --> 00:18:18,002 So, tell me about Pilgrim. Is he capable of murder? 170 00:18:18,166 --> 00:18:20,316 L've heard him sing, obviously. 171 00:18:20,486 --> 00:18:25,879 L don't get it. Six witnesses all saw her go in at four o'clock. 172 00:18:26,046 --> 00:18:29,163 Now, if that's right, he hasn't got a prayer. 173 00:18:29,326 --> 00:18:35,356 Yet he swears blind he was in the room all afternoon fully conscious and saw no one. 174 00:18:35,526 --> 00:18:38,086 He's either very stupid or very devious. 175 00:18:38,246 --> 00:18:40,237 - Or neither. - What do you mean? 176 00:18:40,406 --> 00:18:43,000 Maybe he's saying it because it's true. 177 00:18:43,166 --> 00:18:45,361 Is that supposed to be doing that? 178 00:18:50,086 --> 00:18:52,884 Two more minutes. What do you mean, true? 179 00:18:53,046 --> 00:18:57,801 A girl can't vanish into thin air while walking through a pair of French... 180 00:18:57,966 --> 00:19:03,086 Do you know, I never know when you're winding me up. That's the trouble. 181 00:19:03,246 --> 00:19:06,397 Do you want to pick us out a bottle of something? 182 00:19:08,286 --> 00:19:10,436 Any particular one? 183 00:19:11,566 --> 00:19:12,999 What's this? 184 00:19:13,766 --> 00:19:15,324 Oh, petrol. 185 00:19:16,086 --> 00:19:17,439 Petrol?! 186 00:19:17,606 --> 00:19:21,360 L can't leave it in the car. Things get nicked! 187 00:19:21,526 --> 00:19:23,562 L'll put it in the hall, shall I? 188 00:19:25,126 --> 00:19:27,845 By the canisters of napalm 189 00:19:30,206 --> 00:19:34,643 So this is the guy, Jacob Flowers, who stuck the note under my wiper? 190 00:19:34,806 --> 00:19:37,036 What's his connection with Pilgrim? 191 00:19:37,206 --> 00:19:39,640 Heard of a cult called the Creed of Eden? 192 00:19:39,806 --> 00:19:41,125 No. 193 00:19:41,286 --> 00:19:44,278 They're into some kind of eco-religious thing. 194 00:19:44,446 --> 00:19:47,836 The world is God's garden, all life is sacred. 195 00:19:48,006 --> 00:19:51,794 It's easier for a rich man to enter a camel if he stands on a box. 196 00:19:51,966 --> 00:19:55,720 This character is their grand prophet and founding father. 197 00:19:55,886 --> 00:19:58,878 - If you know your history of rock... - Intimately. 198 00:19:59,046 --> 00:20:03,005 You'll know it was on Edwin Drood's tour of the States in July '87 199 00:20:03,166 --> 00:20:06,317 that Roy Pilgrim became a disciple of the order, 200 00:20:06,486 --> 00:20:09,284 leading to the break-up of the group 201 00:20:09,446 --> 00:20:13,803 and some deadly solo albums about rainforests and dolphins. 202 00:20:15,086 --> 00:20:19,364 So, Flowers will stick up for Pilgrim because they're buddies, 203 00:20:19,526 --> 00:20:23,121 or maybe he knows something about this that we don't. 204 00:20:23,286 --> 00:20:29,361 Don't scrape that off! It's meant to be that colour, it's Cajun! Blackened catfish. 205 00:20:29,526 --> 00:20:31,756 Looks more like halibut to me. 206 00:20:31,926 --> 00:20:35,441 Blackened halibut, then. L had to improvise. 207 00:20:35,606 --> 00:20:38,359 Can we have less pedanticism and just eat. 208 00:20:42,326 --> 00:20:44,317 The word is pedantry. 209 00:20:51,406 --> 00:20:54,159 No, Mr Danziger, a trifle baffling won't do! 210 00:20:54,326 --> 00:20:56,715 A trifle baffling doesn't get near it! 211 00:20:56,886 --> 00:21:01,357 My fianc�e's dumped me, I'm looking at charges of abduction or murder, 212 00:21:01,526 --> 00:21:04,404 all because I wasn't smart enough to lie! 213 00:21:04,566 --> 00:21:07,922 They can put the cast of "Goodbye, Mr Chips" on the stand, 214 00:21:08,086 --> 00:21:10,600 but it doesn't change what I saw! 215 00:21:10,766 --> 00:21:13,678 If you're any kind of lawyer, you'd better... 216 00:21:13,846 --> 00:21:16,314 Look, I'll call you back. 217 00:21:18,446 --> 00:21:22,155 That's the one. You could hardly miss her from here. 218 00:21:23,246 --> 00:21:26,477 So... when she pressed this bell, 219 00:21:26,646 --> 00:21:28,364 someone... 220 00:21:28,526 --> 00:21:30,642 must have let her in. 221 00:21:30,806 --> 00:21:34,082 - What are you doing? - You need to check it out. 222 00:21:34,246 --> 00:21:37,044 - L can't go in there! - Why not? 223 00:21:37,206 --> 00:21:39,197 Roy Pilgrim! 224 00:21:39,366 --> 00:21:41,436 L can't meet Roy Pilg... 225 00:21:42,086 --> 00:21:44,316 You're talking about mythology! 226 00:21:44,486 --> 00:21:50,482 You reduce someone to flesh and blood, the whole thing's destroyed. The whole icon! 227 00:21:50,646 --> 00:21:54,002 Jonathan, you're beginning to sound like a prat. 228 00:21:54,166 --> 00:21:55,519 Sorry. 229 00:21:55,686 --> 00:21:58,200 What does it take to make you go away? 230 00:21:58,366 --> 00:22:03,121 L'm sorry about yesterday, but I'm interested in helping you, actually. 231 00:22:03,286 --> 00:22:05,754 If you'll just take a minute to let us in. 232 00:22:05,926 --> 00:22:07,439 What are you? 233 00:22:07,606 --> 00:22:12,122 Right now, Mr Pilgrim? We're the only hope you've got. 234 00:22:16,126 --> 00:22:21,246 The white room. L'm standing in the white room! 235 00:22:21,406 --> 00:22:23,442 The white room! 236 00:22:23,606 --> 00:22:27,485 Yes, it's... certainly white, all right, no question. 237 00:22:27,646 --> 00:22:31,321 The white room is like a... chamber of contemplation. 238 00:22:31,486 --> 00:22:33,602 It's where I centre creatively. 239 00:22:39,646 --> 00:22:43,116 And the actual Bandawi bush cats! 240 00:22:43,926 --> 00:22:46,281 Utterly amazing! 241 00:22:47,606 --> 00:22:53,078 Hand-carved speaker cabinets presented by the Gambian percussionist Joshua Bandawi 242 00:22:53,246 --> 00:22:57,319 - in... what year where you there? - 1973. 243 00:22:57,486 --> 00:23:00,523 L think you'll find it was '76. 244 00:23:00,686 --> 00:23:07,444 Because "Tribal Jam" didn't hit the charts until early '77. 245 00:23:07,606 --> 00:23:10,518 We were in Zaire in '76. 246 00:23:10,686 --> 00:23:16,158 No. You were deported from Zaire in May '75. 247 00:23:16,326 --> 00:23:20,604 After Martin Crow rode into the president's jacuzzi on a wildebeest. 248 00:23:21,446 --> 00:23:23,198 Mad as a light bulb! 249 00:23:24,166 --> 00:23:28,398 Yeah. Er... I don't suppose you see much of the others now, do you, 250 00:23:28,566 --> 00:23:30,636 since the old firm split up? 251 00:23:31,446 --> 00:23:34,916 The band was always riven by petty factionalism. 252 00:23:35,086 --> 00:23:37,122 L lived with them for 15 years. 253 00:23:37,286 --> 00:23:39,481 That's 15 years too long. 254 00:23:39,646 --> 00:23:44,037 And then came the Creed of Eden. That's been quite a crusade for you. 255 00:23:44,206 --> 00:23:46,674 L try to follow my conscience. 256 00:23:47,806 --> 00:23:50,639 Jacob Flowers seems to be on your side. 257 00:23:50,806 --> 00:23:53,445 He left a note on my windscreen. 258 00:23:53,606 --> 00:23:58,122 They have a commune about 20 minutes away - Hog's Belly Farm. 259 00:23:58,286 --> 00:24:01,801 L've been a kind of... patron for them. 260 00:24:01,966 --> 00:24:06,517 L guess he's as rattled about this as I am. Is that one o'clock? 261 00:24:06,686 --> 00:24:09,280 L've got to record "The Waltons". 262 00:24:09,806 --> 00:24:11,683 "The Waltons"? 263 00:24:13,326 --> 00:24:15,317 L'll be two seconds. 264 00:24:15,486 --> 00:24:16,805 So... 265 00:24:19,886 --> 00:24:21,956 Have you found something clever? 266 00:24:22,846 --> 00:24:25,235 The gateway to a parallel dimension? 267 00:24:26,326 --> 00:24:27,918 "The Waltons"?! 268 00:24:29,326 --> 00:24:30,805 Jonathan! 269 00:24:30,966 --> 00:24:33,958 - The French windows. - What? 270 00:24:35,286 --> 00:24:40,758 What do you want me to say? They're French windows that people walk in and out of! 271 00:24:42,086 --> 00:24:45,920 The blinds are Venetian blinds and the floor is just a... 272 00:24:51,686 --> 00:24:53,005 What? 273 00:24:55,606 --> 00:24:59,281 No, it's just the way these figures are slightly faded. 274 00:24:59,446 --> 00:25:01,721 You see, down here? 275 00:25:03,366 --> 00:25:06,039 And down here. 276 00:25:09,846 --> 00:25:13,122 They're faded on the wrong side, surely? 277 00:25:14,326 --> 00:25:18,604 - These speakers, do they get moved about? - Never. 278 00:25:18,766 --> 00:25:22,918 They were positioned for perfect balance 15 years ago. Why do you ask? 279 00:25:24,406 --> 00:25:26,237 L could be wrong, 280 00:25:26,406 --> 00:25:30,558 but it looks to me as if someone has recently swapped them round. 281 00:25:35,726 --> 00:25:37,682 Well, I don't know. 282 00:25:37,846 --> 00:25:40,440 L mean, it's too incredible for words. 283 00:25:41,446 --> 00:25:44,836 Roy Pilgrim watches "The Waltons". 284 00:25:45,006 --> 00:25:47,395 But does that make him a murderer? 285 00:25:47,566 --> 00:25:49,841 Here, you can navigate. 286 00:25:50,006 --> 00:25:51,519 Where to? 287 00:25:51,686 --> 00:25:54,519 L thought we'd pay a visit to Hog's Belly Farm. 288 00:26:16,286 --> 00:26:18,197 Good afternoon. 289 00:26:18,366 --> 00:26:22,723 - Hi, my name's... - Madeleine, right? We're expecting you. 290 00:26:23,806 --> 00:26:25,637 Toby Flowers. 291 00:26:25,806 --> 00:26:28,445 Guess you got the note from my uncle, huh? 292 00:26:28,606 --> 00:26:30,597 Well, it did intrigue me. 293 00:26:30,766 --> 00:26:32,961 Oh, this is my friend Jonathan. 294 00:26:33,126 --> 00:26:35,321 Hi, are you a journalist, too? 295 00:26:35,486 --> 00:26:39,365 More in the way of a technical advisor, aren't you? 296 00:26:39,526 --> 00:26:41,881 On this business of the missing girl. 297 00:26:42,046 --> 00:26:44,241 It's the weirdest thing, isn't it? 298 00:26:44,406 --> 00:26:49,400 She could have walked in through that window and never arrived the other side. 299 00:26:49,566 --> 00:26:51,955 Spooky, kind of, wouldn't you say? 300 00:26:53,286 --> 00:26:55,720 Now, do you want to come with me? 301 00:26:55,886 --> 00:26:59,640 L know my Uncle Jacob and Aunt Polly are keen to see you. 302 00:26:59,806 --> 00:27:02,764 They're just up ahead bonding with the trees. 303 00:27:02,926 --> 00:27:04,996 And up... 304 00:27:06,726 --> 00:27:08,762 ...and down. 305 00:27:08,926 --> 00:27:14,842 Circling and caressing the trunk with your trunk! 306 00:27:20,326 --> 00:27:24,956 If you feel you want to lick or nibble the bark, don't be afraid to do that. 307 00:27:25,126 --> 00:27:28,243 Let the love flow from your body 308 00:27:28,406 --> 00:27:31,159 rhythmically into the tree. 309 00:27:31,326 --> 00:27:33,362 Down through the roots, 310 00:27:33,526 --> 00:27:35,517 into the earth. 311 00:27:35,686 --> 00:27:39,884 Remember, the tree will get as much pleasure from this as you will. 312 00:27:40,046 --> 00:27:44,164 Do you do this sort of thing regularly, then? 313 00:27:44,326 --> 00:27:49,081 Since I met Jacob, 18 years ago now. It's a really liberating experience. 314 00:27:49,246 --> 00:27:52,204 Especially for Polly, who grew up in East London. 315 00:27:52,366 --> 00:27:56,120 - Which part? Barking? - Mile End. Quite close. 316 00:27:56,286 --> 00:28:01,758 L've never seen anybody get that friendly with a knothole. Almost grounds for divorce! 317 00:28:01,926 --> 00:28:05,123 You ever been up in an oak tree, Jonathan? 318 00:28:05,446 --> 00:28:09,724 It's true. We all owe a tremendous debt to Roy Pilgrim. 319 00:28:09,886 --> 00:28:14,323 This whole estate, everything you see, is down to his support 320 00:28:14,486 --> 00:28:16,522 and generosity. 321 00:28:16,686 --> 00:28:21,077 He was the greatest benefactor you could ask for. 322 00:28:21,246 --> 00:28:23,521 How do you mean, was? 323 00:28:23,686 --> 00:28:28,521 L won't pretend this new fianc�e of his was devoted to our cause. 324 00:28:28,686 --> 00:28:30,802 Francine Faraday. 325 00:28:30,966 --> 00:28:34,276 She runs a small investment consultancy somewhere, 326 00:28:34,446 --> 00:28:39,156 so she's probably in need of spiritual enlightenment. 327 00:28:39,966 --> 00:28:43,276 So she was leading him off the straight and narrow? 328 00:28:43,446 --> 00:28:46,199 It's for Roy to choose his own destiny. 329 00:28:46,366 --> 00:28:51,804 We were glad he'd found a relationship that works for him, but now, with these rumours... 330 00:28:51,966 --> 00:28:57,040 If you can shed any light on this, Madeleine, to clear Roy's name, 331 00:28:57,206 --> 00:29:02,644 believe me, your efforts will not go unrewarded, and we're not talking money. 332 00:29:02,806 --> 00:29:06,276 Come with me. L want to show you something. 333 00:29:31,846 --> 00:29:35,077 There are four more underway back home, 334 00:29:35,246 --> 00:29:40,161 in Utah, Wyoming, Maine and New Mexico. 335 00:29:40,766 --> 00:29:44,805 Because the day will come, make no mistake about that. 336 00:29:45,766 --> 00:29:47,757 And I'll make you a promise. 337 00:29:47,926 --> 00:29:52,681 Help Roy and there will be two seats waiting for you 338 00:29:52,846 --> 00:29:55,360 on the journey to the new world! 339 00:29:59,726 --> 00:30:01,398 No way! 340 00:30:01,566 --> 00:30:03,557 What, like, an ark as in Noah?! 341 00:30:03,726 --> 00:30:07,162 - L don't believe you. - L don't believe me and I was there! 342 00:30:07,326 --> 00:30:10,204 Seriously potty people, can't tell you! 343 00:30:10,366 --> 00:30:16,077 What do the police think? That he did her in. He'll bluff it out until they find a body. 344 00:30:16,246 --> 00:30:17,998 If they find a body. 345 00:30:18,166 --> 00:30:21,715 L thought it was all down to Marvo the Mystic here. 346 00:30:23,646 --> 00:30:27,082 What happened? Did your special powers desert you? 347 00:30:27,246 --> 00:30:32,718 He did find something, actually. Two funny speaker cabinets inside the door 348 00:30:32,886 --> 00:30:34,763 had been switched round. 349 00:30:34,926 --> 00:30:39,204 Because that's where he'd hidden her, after he'd sawed her in half! 350 00:30:40,046 --> 00:30:41,479 No? 351 00:30:41,646 --> 00:30:45,605 OK, why would you deliberately swap round a couple of speakers? 352 00:30:45,766 --> 00:30:49,554 - That's the question. - That's not the question. 353 00:30:49,726 --> 00:30:51,364 What do you mean? 354 00:30:51,526 --> 00:30:54,882 - Well, you wouldn't. - So, what's the point? 355 00:30:55,046 --> 00:30:58,163 None whatsoever, I should think. 356 00:30:58,326 --> 00:31:00,601 All right, you've lost me. 357 00:31:00,766 --> 00:31:06,602 L think what he is saying is that it could be accidental. 358 00:31:07,086 --> 00:31:11,443 Consider it this way round. Someone comes into Pilgrim's house. 359 00:31:11,606 --> 00:31:16,077 For whatever reason, they remove a pair of identical-looking speakers. 360 00:31:16,246 --> 00:31:22,242 Later, they return them. Because they look alike, they put them back wrong way round. 361 00:31:24,246 --> 00:31:29,274 But who would steal a pair of speakers and then just put them back again? 362 00:31:31,126 --> 00:31:33,765 A very honest burglar? 363 00:31:38,006 --> 00:31:41,885 Better split, I think. Adam said he might call from Vegas. 364 00:31:42,446 --> 00:31:46,405 L thought I'd check out the other band members of Edwin whatsit. 365 00:31:46,566 --> 00:31:48,716 If I get anything, I'll ring you. 366 00:31:48,886 --> 00:31:50,524 See you, Sheena. 367 00:32:55,926 --> 00:33:01,683 Glenn, have you got a moment to talk to this journalist about Roy Pilgrim? 368 00:33:01,846 --> 00:33:04,838 - From...? - L'm freelance. Maddy Magellan. 369 00:33:05,006 --> 00:33:11,559 Mr McArthur. L can't believe I just shook the hand that played guitar on "Hoodoo Woman"! 370 00:33:11,726 --> 00:33:16,595 Now I can die happy. No, I was after a bit of background on your ex-colleague. 371 00:33:16,766 --> 00:33:22,716 What do you want me to say? That I loathed the money-grabbing son-of-a-bitch? 372 00:33:22,886 --> 00:33:24,444 It's a start. 373 00:33:24,606 --> 00:33:29,316 We were young. We just wanted to play rock 'n' roll. We weren't businessmen. 374 00:33:29,486 --> 00:33:34,355 Edwin Drood became a fundraiser for our management and record companies. 375 00:33:34,526 --> 00:33:37,677 Roy, because he wrote the songs, got sponsorship. 376 00:33:37,846 --> 00:33:40,406 He was the one who cleaned up. 377 00:33:40,566 --> 00:33:43,876 Don't ask me how. L've spent years trying to forget. 378 00:33:44,046 --> 00:33:48,756 Did you say extra anchovies? Mike said you did, but I swear you... 379 00:33:48,926 --> 00:33:50,837 What's this? What's going on? 380 00:33:51,006 --> 00:33:54,203 - Look, Tex, I'm really sorry, but... - Jerry? 381 00:33:54,366 --> 00:33:56,084 Who are these jokers? 382 00:33:56,246 --> 00:33:59,841 There comes a time, for the greater good of the band... 383 00:34:00,006 --> 00:34:03,237 You've been replaced is what he's trying to say, guys. 384 00:34:03,406 --> 00:34:06,204 - It happens. - We were only gone for 20 minutes. 385 00:34:06,366 --> 00:34:10,359 Life moves on. Can't we all stay cool about this? 386 00:34:10,526 --> 00:34:14,314 You put together another line-up while we went for a pizza?! 387 00:34:14,486 --> 00:34:15,999 This is unreal! 388 00:34:16,166 --> 00:34:18,157 Jerry, can you handle it? 389 00:34:18,326 --> 00:34:20,317 We needed fresh blood. 390 00:34:20,486 --> 00:34:23,444 And you're gonna get it over these walls! 391 00:34:30,206 --> 00:34:34,563 So, what do you know about this fianc�e of his? 392 00:34:34,726 --> 00:34:39,163 - Francine Faraday. - Didn't strike me as Roy's type at all. 393 00:34:39,326 --> 00:34:41,282 More future mother-in-law. 394 00:34:41,446 --> 00:34:43,562 What do you mean by that? 395 00:34:43,726 --> 00:34:45,796 Who did you say you wrote for? 396 00:34:45,966 --> 00:34:52,155 L'm putting a book together with major cases that the police have got horribly wrong. 397 00:34:54,006 --> 00:34:57,919 My opinion, you're wasting your time on this one. 398 00:35:01,006 --> 00:35:02,997 Thanks for your help. 399 00:35:18,366 --> 00:35:23,315 Have one of these a day. She'll soon be up and running. 400 00:35:23,486 --> 00:35:28,082 - Is there somewhere to wash my hands? - Sure, inside in the kitchen. 401 00:35:47,326 --> 00:35:50,682 Toby? Oh, my God, what's happened?! 402 00:35:50,846 --> 00:35:54,839 He appears to have been suffocated or choked. 403 00:35:55,006 --> 00:35:57,520 You'd better call the police. 404 00:36:00,646 --> 00:36:02,796 There's something in there. 405 00:36:19,126 --> 00:36:21,117 What the hell is it? 406 00:36:29,126 --> 00:36:34,678 ...damage. The reason for such vandalism is still a mystery. 407 00:36:34,846 --> 00:36:39,795 Detectives are investigating a bizarre "Silence of the Lambs" style murder 408 00:36:39,966 --> 00:36:42,526 at Hog's Belly Farm near Wittlingford, 409 00:36:42,686 --> 00:36:46,599 after the victim was found with a frog inserted in his windpipe. 410 00:36:46,766 --> 00:36:51,715 Toby Flowers was a member of the American religious sect, the Creed of Eden, 411 00:36:51,886 --> 00:36:54,958 whose members include the rock star Roy Pilgrim, 412 00:36:55,126 --> 00:37:00,359 himself in the news relating to the disappearance of teenager Tracy Cook. 413 00:37:10,286 --> 00:37:11,605 Hi. 414 00:37:13,446 --> 00:37:16,358 It's a pig of a night out here. 415 00:37:18,446 --> 00:37:21,756 Before I became a puppet, I was a gynaecologist. 416 00:37:21,926 --> 00:37:25,521 L wanted to be a brain surgeon, but I wasn't tall enoughl 417 00:37:25,686 --> 00:37:27,358 Here's another one. 418 00:37:27,526 --> 00:37:33,681 What is long and thin and sticky? 419 00:37:35,246 --> 00:37:36,964 A stickl 420 00:37:39,766 --> 00:37:43,441 Behold the impecunious rock legend! 421 00:37:44,846 --> 00:37:49,442 As you can see, performing is still my major source of income. 422 00:37:49,606 --> 00:37:55,954 L've got this reputation for instability, which I could never get my head round. 423 00:37:56,126 --> 00:37:59,163 Don't want Marty Crow, no way! 424 00:38:01,486 --> 00:38:06,037 They don't want a drummer who urinates on the audience. Why not? 425 00:38:06,206 --> 00:38:10,085 Personal contact with the public, very important. 426 00:38:10,246 --> 00:38:16,003 Roy Pilgrim. What type of women did he go for, would you say? 427 00:38:16,166 --> 00:38:20,523 Let's just say he wouldn't look at you if he thought you'd had too many. 428 00:38:21,686 --> 00:38:24,280 - Drinks? - Birthdays. 429 00:38:24,446 --> 00:38:28,997 Closer they were to the legal limit, the more he liked them. 430 00:38:29,166 --> 00:38:33,045 In those days, there were plenty around to like, believe me! 431 00:38:33,566 --> 00:38:34,999 That was then. 432 00:38:35,926 --> 00:38:38,394 His taste could have changed. 433 00:38:40,126 --> 00:38:41,605 Right. 434 00:38:55,526 --> 00:38:57,915 The "Hocus Pocus Junior"! 435 00:38:58,086 --> 00:39:02,523 L saw it in this old bookshop. L thought, "What the hell, 436 00:39:02,686 --> 00:39:04,517 "I'll pop it round. " 437 00:39:04,686 --> 00:39:08,645 You drove 35 miles out of London to bring it here. 438 00:39:08,806 --> 00:39:12,082 Well, you weren't exactly hard to find. 439 00:39:13,406 --> 00:39:15,397 L mean, if it's no good to you... 440 00:39:15,566 --> 00:39:18,922 It's one of the classic texts on medieval magic. 441 00:39:19,086 --> 00:39:21,236 What do I owe you? 442 00:39:22,446 --> 00:39:24,721 What do you want to give me? 443 00:39:28,646 --> 00:39:31,160 Where is your other half tonight? 444 00:39:31,326 --> 00:39:33,237 L shudder to think. 445 00:39:34,406 --> 00:39:36,636 Whoever she is, she has my sympathy. 446 00:39:36,806 --> 00:39:40,321 Sex for Greg is someone to talk to while doing push-ups. 447 00:39:40,486 --> 00:39:45,719 If they invented an exercise bike that said, "That was wonderful!", he'd propose. 448 00:39:45,886 --> 00:39:50,243 Yes, I've never met a man before whose IQ was the same as his bra size. 449 00:39:50,406 --> 00:39:52,442 It's an interesting combina... 450 00:39:53,566 --> 00:39:56,922 - Help yourself to a sherry, by the way - Thanks. 451 00:40:00,846 --> 00:40:02,677 L've got a theory. 452 00:40:02,846 --> 00:40:06,964 About those speakers, why someone would take them out of the room. 453 00:40:07,126 --> 00:40:08,718 Go on, then. 454 00:40:09,766 --> 00:40:11,358 He was hypnotised. 455 00:40:12,726 --> 00:40:17,197 Someone took the speakers away, rigged them up to play some recording 456 00:40:17,366 --> 00:40:21,564 that made him forget he'd seen the girl come in through the window. 457 00:40:25,246 --> 00:40:26,759 Right. 458 00:40:28,086 --> 00:40:29,804 Involuntary hypnosis? 459 00:40:29,966 --> 00:40:31,445 Mmm-hmm. 460 00:40:31,606 --> 00:40:35,884 Not quite sure Roy Pilgrim's the sort to go under without a fight. 461 00:40:36,046 --> 00:40:40,995 And why do all that instead of just dangling a watch chain in front of his nose? 462 00:40:41,166 --> 00:40:42,645 Because... 463 00:40:42,806 --> 00:40:44,319 they... 464 00:40:46,086 --> 00:40:48,077 ...didn't do that at all. 465 00:40:48,766 --> 00:40:52,998 - So what did they do? - Why have you come here? 466 00:40:55,446 --> 00:40:57,243 Because I'm like you. 467 00:40:58,566 --> 00:41:00,716 L can't resist a puzzle. 468 00:41:05,486 --> 00:41:08,637 - Let me into your mind. - Sorry? 469 00:41:14,886 --> 00:41:16,877 Lecture me. 470 00:41:20,246 --> 00:41:21,884 All right. 471 00:41:22,886 --> 00:41:24,444 Let's recap. 472 00:41:25,566 --> 00:41:29,275 Last Monday, a 16-year-old girl... 473 00:41:30,846 --> 00:41:32,802 ...Tracy Cook, 474 00:41:32,966 --> 00:41:37,039 calls round to visit her hero, rock star Roy Pilgrim. 475 00:41:37,206 --> 00:41:42,564 Half a dozen schoolboys see her walk in through the French windows at the back, 476 00:41:42,726 --> 00:41:44,364 into the white room. 477 00:41:44,526 --> 00:41:47,165 That's proven fact. It's beyond dispute. 478 00:41:47,326 --> 00:41:50,045 At the exact same time, four o'clock, 479 00:41:50,206 --> 00:41:55,121 Pilgrim swears he was in the room, fully conscious, handcuffed to the radiator, 480 00:41:55,286 --> 00:41:57,197 and saw no one come in. 481 00:41:57,366 --> 00:41:58,924 His watch was wrong. 482 00:42:00,686 --> 00:42:04,725 He knew the time because he'd been listening to the radio. 483 00:42:04,886 --> 00:42:07,480 He says he was awake all afternoon. 484 00:42:07,646 --> 00:42:11,719 The only time he slept was during the night. 485 00:42:11,886 --> 00:42:15,765 So he has to be lying. Nothing else makes sense. 486 00:42:15,926 --> 00:42:18,679 But what he says makes even less sense. 487 00:42:18,846 --> 00:42:21,440 Why go to the trouble of making up that story? 488 00:42:21,606 --> 00:42:26,202 He could say he wasn't there at all, or he was still unconscious. 489 00:42:26,366 --> 00:42:28,277 No one could prove otherwise. 490 00:42:28,446 --> 00:42:33,042 No, instead, he says the one thing that no jury will believe, 491 00:42:33,206 --> 00:42:37,245 that no one came in through the door. Why? Because it's true. 492 00:42:37,406 --> 00:42:39,601 Both stories can't be true. 493 00:42:39,766 --> 00:42:41,085 It's impossible. 494 00:42:41,766 --> 00:42:44,997 - Is it? - Yes, it is! 495 00:42:45,166 --> 00:42:50,081 You've been there. You've inspected it. The police have inspected it. 496 00:42:50,246 --> 00:42:54,034 How can she just have vanished into the ether?! 497 00:42:54,206 --> 00:42:57,562 Like some... phantom, or... 498 00:43:02,326 --> 00:43:04,840 What's the matter, you got a frog in your throat? 499 00:43:24,926 --> 00:43:26,757 L'll get it. 500 00:43:56,046 --> 00:43:57,843 Jonathan Creek. 501 00:43:59,286 --> 00:44:02,323 Sorry, I know it's early. 502 00:44:02,486 --> 00:44:06,638 - Did I wake you? - Er... no, that's fine. 503 00:44:07,846 --> 00:44:09,438 Are you well? 504 00:44:09,606 --> 00:44:12,723 L just wanted to bring you up to date on yesterday. 505 00:44:12,886 --> 00:44:14,365 My gut reaction now? 506 00:44:15,326 --> 00:44:16,918 He did it. 507 00:44:17,086 --> 00:44:22,763 All this thing about young girls seems to check out. 508 00:44:22,926 --> 00:44:26,521 Both his erstwhile buddies said the same thing. 509 00:44:26,686 --> 00:44:31,760 So... I know it looked promising, but... 510 00:44:31,926 --> 00:44:36,556 I've got a feeling we should ditch it. We're barking up the wrong tree. 511 00:44:37,726 --> 00:44:42,163 Funnily enough, I've just come to the exact opposite conclusion. 512 00:44:42,326 --> 00:44:48,356 L draw your attention to page 197 of "The Observer's Book of Frogs". 513 00:44:58,006 --> 00:44:59,325 What...?! 514 00:44:59,486 --> 00:45:03,718 - He's done nothing wrong! - You've got no evidence! 515 00:45:03,886 --> 00:45:07,435 - Roy, trust in the Lord! - Vindictive fags! 516 00:45:07,606 --> 00:45:11,155 He's done nothing! You'll go straight to Hell! 517 00:45:11,326 --> 00:45:16,844 And you'll go straight down the nick! Sergeant, get those lunatics down! 518 00:45:31,806 --> 00:45:33,637 What's happening? 519 00:45:33,806 --> 00:45:35,683 Has he been charged? 520 00:45:35,846 --> 00:45:39,725 He's not in there to warm the seat! Want to speak to him? 521 00:45:39,886 --> 00:45:44,402 No, I just came to collect one or two things. Will that still be possible? 522 00:45:44,566 --> 00:45:46,557 The house is all yours. 523 00:46:03,446 --> 00:46:06,722 They've taken him, as we knew they would! 524 00:46:06,886 --> 00:46:10,515 - God help him! - Without a shred of proof, of course! 525 00:46:10,686 --> 00:46:15,237 - Where do we go from here? - L think the back gate's a good place. 526 00:46:59,766 --> 00:47:03,884 - Yes, Miss Faraday? - L was... looking for my hairbrush. 527 00:47:04,046 --> 00:47:05,638 L used to keep... 528 00:47:05,806 --> 00:47:08,366 - What is this? L thought... - Not quite. 529 00:47:08,526 --> 00:47:11,882 But never fear, an arrest will be made very shortly. 530 00:47:12,046 --> 00:47:16,164 Though it sticks in the craw to admit the press had any hand in this, 531 00:47:16,326 --> 00:47:21,480 thanks to our friend here, I'm now seeing this business in a new light. 532 00:47:24,486 --> 00:47:27,842 - Go on, you're dying to tell them. - Is she? 533 00:47:28,006 --> 00:47:31,362 You can all stay to listen. L'm off. 534 00:47:31,526 --> 00:47:34,438 You don't tend to hang about, do you, Francine? 535 00:47:34,606 --> 00:47:38,758 Same as when your husband-to-be was suspected, off like a bullet. 536 00:47:38,926 --> 00:47:41,838 So wonderful to have faith in one you love! 537 00:47:42,006 --> 00:47:47,364 Please, you think any woman alive would take his word for it after what happened? 538 00:47:47,526 --> 00:47:52,122 Of course they wouldn't, and that's what you were banking on... 539 00:47:52,286 --> 00:47:56,598 Mr and Mrs Flowers, when you engineered this whole affair. 540 00:47:56,766 --> 00:47:58,882 L beg your pardon?! 541 00:47:59,046 --> 00:48:01,480 Not mine to grant, unfortunately. 542 00:48:01,646 --> 00:48:04,877 L don't imagine a judge will be too lenient, either. 543 00:48:05,046 --> 00:48:08,561 We've stood square behind Roy from the word go. 544 00:48:08,726 --> 00:48:13,117 Yes... I don't think believing in someone's innocence 545 00:48:13,286 --> 00:48:16,676 when you framed him quite counts as loyalty, does it? 546 00:48:16,846 --> 00:48:19,155 Why on earth would we want to frame Roy? 547 00:48:19,326 --> 00:48:23,285 To get rid of the one person who was a threat to your income. 548 00:48:24,406 --> 00:48:29,241 The logic of shelling out millions of pounds to people who had sex with trees 549 00:48:29,406 --> 00:48:31,397 was a bit lost on you, wasn't it? 550 00:48:31,566 --> 00:48:34,603 Roy's interest in the Creed was on the wane. 551 00:48:34,766 --> 00:48:38,042 Of course, once you were married... oh, dear. 552 00:48:38,206 --> 00:48:40,879 Serious cash flow problems. 553 00:48:41,046 --> 00:48:43,196 So, she had to be scared off. 554 00:48:43,366 --> 00:48:44,799 Sharpish. 555 00:48:44,966 --> 00:48:48,800 You're saying this was like a trick to set me up? 556 00:48:48,966 --> 00:48:53,642 Like the best tricks, it was blindingly simple in theory, 557 00:48:53,806 --> 00:48:56,684 and fantastically elaborate in practice. 558 00:48:56,846 --> 00:49:02,523 But to a bunch of people building an ark in their back garden, all things were possible. 559 00:49:07,486 --> 00:49:11,320 Staging a break-in and putting him out were the easy bits. 560 00:49:18,206 --> 00:49:20,595 An hour later, he comes round, 561 00:49:20,766 --> 00:49:23,838 to find he's trapped inside the white room. 562 00:49:24,006 --> 00:49:25,803 HE-E-ELP! 563 00:49:28,326 --> 00:49:31,443 He remains fully conscious all day. 564 00:49:31,606 --> 00:49:36,157 The only thing that comes through the door is a small red-bellied frog. 565 00:49:43,566 --> 00:49:49,596 At the same time, a teenage girl, not noted for her frog-like appearance, 566 00:49:49,766 --> 00:49:54,840 is seen entering the door from the outside by a bunch of boys at the back gate. 567 00:49:55,006 --> 00:49:57,474 There's no way it adds up. 568 00:49:57,646 --> 00:50:02,037 Until you realise the whole thing was a classic piece of misdirection 569 00:50:02,206 --> 00:50:05,915 which relied on us all making one, very false, assumption. 570 00:50:06,086 --> 00:50:11,319 That in both version of events, we were talking about the same door. 571 00:50:17,126 --> 00:50:20,402 A shame you couldn't have followed that frog, Roy, 572 00:50:20,566 --> 00:50:23,080 as it hopped back outside. 573 00:50:33,526 --> 00:50:38,316 You'd have been impressed by the handiwork of the drones at Hog's Belly Farm. 574 00:50:38,486 --> 00:50:44,243 God knows how long it took them to come up with a replica correct to every last detail. 575 00:50:44,406 --> 00:50:49,526 But we can assume months of planning and preparation when you weren't around. 576 00:50:56,726 --> 00:51:00,162 Sifting through the fan mail for a suitable candidate. 577 00:51:00,326 --> 00:51:03,796 And forging the letter that would bring her here. 578 00:51:15,406 --> 00:51:19,445 Tracy Cook was instructed to call at the back gate at four o'clock 579 00:51:19,606 --> 00:51:23,963 because you knew there would be witnesses then to watch her going in. 580 00:51:26,206 --> 00:51:30,518 Inside, I don't know, she's told there's a change of plan. 581 00:51:30,686 --> 00:51:32,483 Roy will meet her at the farm. 582 00:51:32,646 --> 00:51:36,798 She's whisked off out of the front to be hidden away somewhere. 583 00:51:36,966 --> 00:51:42,518 All this time, Roy's been in what he thinks is his own room, jotting down songs. 584 00:51:42,686 --> 00:51:47,202 The one thing you couldn't duplicate were the African speakers. 585 00:51:47,366 --> 00:51:49,926 But you just took them with you. 586 00:51:51,806 --> 00:51:54,764 Finally, it gets dark and Roy nods off. 587 00:51:54,926 --> 00:51:57,918 That's when you pull the second switch, 588 00:51:58,086 --> 00:52:00,680 making sure he won't wake up on the way. 589 00:52:13,126 --> 00:52:15,003 Back he goes into his own room. 590 00:52:15,166 --> 00:52:19,876 Along with the speaker cabinets which we know ended up the wrong way round. 591 00:52:21,966 --> 00:52:25,641 As compromising set-ups go, it was a gem. 592 00:52:27,086 --> 00:52:30,237 The man's convicted by his own honesty. 593 00:52:30,406 --> 00:52:34,558 While you lot leap about in his defence to keep the handouts coming. 594 00:52:34,726 --> 00:52:37,763 Well, you got a colourful imagination. 595 00:52:37,926 --> 00:52:40,963 And you've got a colourful frog. 596 00:52:41,126 --> 00:52:43,845 Lots of them, I reckon. 597 00:52:44,006 --> 00:52:46,440 Where's your little book? 598 00:52:48,566 --> 00:52:50,238 Look familiar? 599 00:52:51,726 --> 00:52:55,002 The Anasase River Toad. 600 00:52:57,166 --> 00:53:01,284 Much prized by the Indians of New Mexico, and many others, 601 00:53:01,446 --> 00:53:04,119 for its narcotic secretions. 602 00:53:04,286 --> 00:53:07,244 The quickest way to get a fix, basically, 603 00:53:07,406 --> 00:53:09,601 is to put it in your mouth and suck. 604 00:53:09,766 --> 00:53:14,123 Being careful not to overdo it, or you end up like poor old Toby. 605 00:53:16,206 --> 00:53:19,039 That's what joined it all up, I have to say. 606 00:53:19,206 --> 00:53:22,994 If these frogs are being bred on a commune at Hog's Belly Farm, 607 00:53:23,166 --> 00:53:27,637 how the hell did one appear at these French windows nearly 15 miles away? 608 00:53:27,806 --> 00:53:31,276 Unless it had gone for a very long walk, or hitched a lift, 609 00:53:31,446 --> 00:53:36,236 there was only one explanation - it had never left the farm in the first place. 610 00:53:36,406 --> 00:53:41,196 And, as ludicrous as it sounds, the window and the room 611 00:53:41,366 --> 00:53:43,243 and Roy Pilgrim... 612 00:53:46,726 --> 00:53:49,399 ...had to be there, as well. 613 00:53:51,286 --> 00:53:54,722 Sorry, I think my head may explode. L can't take this in. 614 00:53:56,846 --> 00:54:01,158 The lads are turning your place over even as we speak. 615 00:54:01,326 --> 00:54:04,602 You could save time by telling us where she is. 616 00:54:07,246 --> 00:54:09,806 What the hell, let them have fun. 617 00:54:29,606 --> 00:54:31,597 Cor, look at all this! 618 00:54:56,086 --> 00:54:58,759 Make way, get out of there! 619 00:54:59,726 --> 00:55:01,557 Come down the steps. 620 00:55:16,566 --> 00:55:19,126 621 00:55:21,446 --> 00:55:24,961 622 00:55:25,966 --> 00:55:28,116 Can we turn this down a bit? 623 00:55:36,806 --> 00:55:40,879 What were they going to do? Just keep her locked up there? 624 00:55:41,046 --> 00:55:46,120 Or work on her mind. Couple of years, bit of brain washing, she'd be one of them. 625 00:55:46,286 --> 00:55:48,117 Wouldn't be the first time. 626 00:55:48,286 --> 00:55:50,402 Anyway, thanks. 627 00:55:50,566 --> 00:55:55,594 Again. L'll talk to Barry about cutting you in on this book when it's done. 628 00:55:55,766 --> 00:55:58,838 - What for? - L don't expect your help for nothing. 629 00:56:00,646 --> 00:56:02,318 Fair enough. 630 00:56:05,126 --> 00:56:08,516 You'd take it as well, you penny-pinching bastard! 631 00:56:08,686 --> 00:56:11,962 Do you know what I make from all this? Not very much... 632 00:56:12,126 --> 00:56:15,880 compared with some people, say a prostitute or something! 633 00:56:16,046 --> 00:56:19,083 But I'd rather do what I believe in! In my opinion, 634 00:56:19,246 --> 00:56:23,842 I think casual sex is a sign of a shallow personality, but there we are! 635 00:56:25,766 --> 00:56:27,802 Have you been sucking a frog? 636 00:56:28,926 --> 00:56:30,996 L beg your pardon?! 637 00:56:31,166 --> 00:56:35,762 so why don't you leave me alonel 638 00:56:48,766 --> 00:56:51,724 You'd better hurry or you won't miss your train. 639 00:56:51,886 --> 00:56:54,958 What sort of gibberish is that?! 640 00:56:55,126 --> 00:56:58,641 Jonathan, stop being clever! For once! 641 00:56:58,806 --> 00:57:00,159 Just go! 642 00:57:02,806 --> 00:57:07,675 L get it. That call you made to Sheena just before we got in the car. 643 00:57:07,846 --> 00:57:12,317 She said she spent last night at my place and now you've got the hump. 644 00:57:12,486 --> 00:57:16,081 - Who's got the hump?! - Because you think we slept together. 645 00:57:17,286 --> 00:57:22,519 Jonathan, whether or not you and Sheena slept together 646 00:57:22,686 --> 00:57:25,246 is your business and her business. 647 00:57:25,406 --> 00:57:28,159 It's certainly none of my business. 648 00:57:28,326 --> 00:57:31,682 Quite frankly, I have no desire to even discuss it. 649 00:57:31,846 --> 00:57:35,805 So if I said I'd rather poke needles down my nails than poke... 650 00:57:35,966 --> 00:57:39,402 It would be a matter of no consequence to me whatsoever. 651 00:57:39,566 --> 00:57:46,165 In fact, I find that extremely offensive and highly insulting to my best friend! 652 00:57:47,046 --> 00:57:48,559 Right. 653 00:57:48,726 --> 00:57:51,194 L'll see you around, then. 654 00:57:51,366 --> 00:57:52,685 Yes! 655 00:57:55,286 --> 00:58:00,963 on his best friend if he put her down 656 00:58:01,126 --> 00:58:05,244 657 00:58:06,406 --> 00:58:09,523 658 00:58:10,366 --> 00:58:13,483 659 00:58:13,646 --> 00:58:15,477 YES! 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net